After much discussion with my husband about New Year resolutions, here is my list of promises for the coming year.
I promise to never again give husband hassle about stuff he has or hasn’t done like the man jobs around the house, which I have neither the strength nor the inclination for, but still expect him to do after a long week of working his butt off to provide for the family.
I promise never to assign a negative trait that my children display to husband’s genes; I will take full responsibility that the throwing things and tantrums are totally in my bag.
I promise never to eat the last of the chocolate and tell husband I gave it to the kids and then complain about the size of my ever-expanding arse!
I promise never to buy and hide chocolate and take little bites from it when husband is not looking and then complain about the size of my ever-expanding arse!
I promise never to fake enthusiasm for the latest blog/gadget/shoot-em-up computer game, even though it really is interesting and if I only put my mind to it I will learn a great deal.
I promise never ever to tell my friends about how much of a geek husband is but to tell them instead just how loving, intelligent and generous he is.
I promise never to blow my top at husband’s slightest transgression even if I tell him the same thing again and again and again, over and over.
I promise never to spend money on useless stuff that we don’t need or have space for, especially clothes which are not a necessity and especially those £200Uggs which are indeed Ugg-ly and that look just like the ones in Primark which are £6.
I promise never to scream at the top of my voice at the children and then wonder why they are so noisy and temperamental.
I promise to cook healthy, nutritious and comforting meals and never rely on the convenience of rubbish foods like fish fingers and chips.
I promise to bake delicious cakes and puddings for the family on a daily basis.
I promise not to tell husband that he is eating too many cakes and puddings and is getting a little bit podgy, and that he’d better work it off by playing with the kids more – preferably in the garden.
I promise never to scream at husband for not cleaning out the sink after he has washed up and left a plug hole full of gunk for me to remove.
I promise never to fake exhaustion at the end of the day when the kids have been to Preschool all day.
I promise to be a thoroughly nice person for the rest of the year with definately no bitching, moaning or shouting. Hey, come on, lets face it, thats just not going to happen!
I promise to make no more promises until I have consulted a solicitor!